


even you can't live forever

by itwasprongs



Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Heist, Multi, My First Work in This Fandom, Not Actually Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-07-02 11:02:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15795189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itwasprongs/pseuds/itwasprongs
Summary: A collection of aus and stories featuring the crew and their ideas of fun.





	even you can't live forever

**Author's Note:**

> There's a heist and the only way it can possibly work is if Kaz and Inej pretend to be engaged. Seriously, it's the only way. Trust me. It's set in limbo universe between our world and the Grishaverse but basically they've had to leave Ketterdam for some reason that isn't relevant to the plot so I haven't bothered planning it. Cool cool cool cool cool cool. 
> 
> This is for Kayla who is one of the strongest people I know and also one of the funniest. If you haven't checked her stuff out then you should (over on tumblr) @fleamontpotter. 
> 
> It hasn't been edited and it's my first time writing Six of Crows fanfic so please _please_ go gently on me.

_Saturday, 23:54_

_The Palace_

Never in a million years would Inej had thought that _this_ would be her most difficult job. Breaking Kuwei Yul Bo out of maximum security prison? Strong contender for top spot. Stealing forty million from Jan Van Eck? Sure. A routine heist with Kaz? _I don’t think so._ Yet, there she was, in the middle of the ballroom, struggling to keep it together because, well, she knew why. She was struggling to keep it together because Kaz had his arm around his waist and was currently telling an earl how they’d fallen in love.

 

_Three Weeks Earlier_

_Tuesday, 18:06_

_The Waffle House_

“- no way we’ll be able to get in, it’s basically a prison. You can’t -”

“- as if, you really think -”

“- not your best plan, Brekker, really -”

“What about through the front door?” Matthias’ firm voice cut through the bickering and everyone turned to look at him. Even Kaz raised his eyes, barely a fraction, but that was something.

“Don’t be daft,” Jesper scoffed. “They’re not going to welcome a crew of thieves to their party.”

“They won’t be. They’ll be welcoming two guests on the list,” Matthias said, leaning forwards on his elbows so they all head to crane their necks to hear him. “Specht can forge the invites easily enough.”

“At a cost,” Kaz said, speaking for the first time since they ordered. As everyone else had been arguing about ways in, the security, the risk, he had just been slowly working his way through his pile of waffles, listening. Inej knew he heard everything, whether or not he reacted. If Jesper had Kaz’s poker face, he’d win a lot more games.

“Surely one you’re willing to fit?” asked Wylan. They all knew Kaz would fit any cost for this particular job. It was going to make his name.

“So, me and Matt go through the front door,” Nina butted in. “And then what?”

“It can’t be you and Matthias,” Kaz said.

Nina scoffed and, around a mouthful of waffle and syrup said, “Well who else is it going to be? Jesper and Wylan? Doubtful.”

“Back off, we’d make great inside men,” Jesper said, petulant. It’s a moot point though, and they all know it. Nina swallowed, stabbed another waffle with her fork, and made to add to her point. Kaz was ahead of her. And Inej was ahead of Kaz.

“It has to be me and Inej.” Wylan choked on his milkshake. The others all shared a look and then laughed. Kaz was right though. What would be the point of getting Nina and Matthias in when they didn’t have the skills to carry out the job? It would be tricky enough getting them in through the front door, let alone making a diversion to allow Kaz and Inej to sneak in without invites. It had already been agreed it could only be two people inside anyway. Any more and they’d start to lose track. Kaz was the only one who could pick the locks and Inej was the only one who could cross the distance between the house and the safe house without setting off the alarms. “Unless any of you have suddenly learnt to walk the tightrope?”

Nina looked at Inej across the table, and Inej could tell she was trying hard to keep her eyebrows under control. Inej shrugged in response to the silent question. _I’ll do what needs to be done_.

“But surely only you’d need an invite, Kaz,” Wylan said. “Inej is the Wraith, she doesn’t need the front door.”

“A couple is far less conspicuous than a man on his own,” Matthias supplied and Inej wouldn’t be surprised if he was enjoying this. He hadn’t taken his eyes off Kaz since he’d first suggested it.

“So what, you guys are brother and sister?” Jesper asked, eyes alight with glee, and Inej frowned. They were _all_ enjoying it. Nina wasn’t bothering to hide her shit-eating grin, the absolute traitor.

Kaz sighed and made to stand up, pushing his now empty plate across the table. “We’ll be distant relatives of the earl. We’re too young to be married so we’ll be betrothed.” His eyes flicked to Inej for a second as he buttoned up his coat. “We can work out a backstory later.” Then he grabbed his cane and marched out, the bell above the door jingling to announce his exit. They all watched him walk across the street in silence and then turned back to press Inej. But she had gone.

 

_18:44_

“I know you’re there,” Kaz said to the alley’s shadows. He’d know she’d follow him, had felt her presence join him two roads down from the Waffle House. Usually, he waited for her to talk, if she ever did, but this time his patience had reached the end of its tether. He leant against the wall and waited, suddenly unsure if she’d appear.

“Engaged?” Inej said as she landed softly in front of him. Clearly she’d been tracking him from the roofs, her favourite method. Her face was unreadable. He knew his was just as blank.

“Something tells me we won’t pass for siblings,” he said, tone flat. They might both have dark hair, but that was where their similarities ended. Kaz was the moon and Inej was the canal water it reflected on, although he suspected that that metaphor only worked for their appearances.

“You realise this means we’ll have to act,” she paused, and he could tell she was choosing her next words carefully, “like we’re in love.”

“Never heard of an arranged marriage?”

“Kaz.” Her voice was almost a growl and he wasn’t sure how they’d gotten there so quickly.

“I’m sure you can handle a little pretence.” A dig about The Menagerie would be too far. A dig about The Menagerie would never be on the table, not when Kaz was involved, yet it still hung in the air, the potential of it, and he could guess that’s what she’s thinking about.

“But can you?”

 

_18:50_

Inej jumped before he could reply and she forced herself not to think about the flash in his eyes as she pulled herself up the wall. She reached the roof of one of the two buildings that made the alley and looked down to check if Kaz was still there. He was staring up, not at her, he would never be able to spot her, but she knew it was meant to give that impression. She sighed. _Or maybe he’s just looking at the moon_ . Nina’s voice in her head answered, _doubtful._

The crescent-moon wasn’t bright enough to guide her across the new city, and she longed for the Barrel’s familiar rooftops so wouldn’t need it. The Barrel and its city was behind them now, and Inej needed to forget it. They couldn’t go back. That’s why they were here, starting fresh, starting small - well in terms of numbers. This job was anything but small. Kaz wanted to make his name quickly, carve his place before anyone could try and threaten them. It was just them though, which was nice. It was a relief not to be second-guessing who to trust.

She swung herself across the last gap of her journey and landed easily inside her window. Though the city was unfamiliar, Inej knew how to travel quickly, whatever the terrain. She was sure to have beaten Kaz back, and possibly the others as well. Which is why she took the chance to wash herself, knowing that soon her room would be crowded with Nina and Matthias. It would have been alright sharing with just Nina. Matthias complicated things though. Well, Nina _and_ Matthias, together, a duo, a package, complicated things. Mainly they complicated things at night when Inej wanted to be sleeping.

As she stood over the cramped room’s basin and used the skinny bar of soap to rid herself of the day’s grime, Inej thought about the job. About what pretending to be Kaz’s betrothed would mean. What _a little pretence_ would mean. Holding hands? Smiling at each other? Staring lovingly into each other’s eyes? Kissing? Inej could handle half of those things, and none with ease. Kaz could most likely handle zero off the list, and they both knew it. Maybe, if they were lucky, their pretence would only have to hold for the time it took them to cross the ballroom. Inej didn’t believe in luck though. She believed in her Saints and she wasn’t sure they still believed in her.

 

_A Week Later_

_The Slat 2.0_

_Friday, 10:17_

“How long have you been together?” Nina looked far too happy to have this job. So far, Inej and Kaz had been performing abysmally at what Jesper had nicknamed their ‘compatibility test’. Inej blamed Kaz. Kaz blamed Inej. They both blamed Matthias for putting them in this position in the first place. For the past week, Inej had fallen asleep thinking of all the different ways she could introduce her knives to Matthias’ stomach, face, throat, legs, really any part of his body that presented itself. Kaz had taken to reminding Matthias that his only real use was for his muscles, despite this being mostly false.

“Three years.”

“A year and a half.”

Nina raised an eyebrow. “They’ll gut you.”

“I’ll have slit their throats before they can try,” Inej said, pointedly sharpening _Petyr_. She had also taken to bringing her blades to these sessions, as a reminder that she had the ability to kill anyone she wanted to before they could blink. It was unnecessary, totally, but it kept her calm.

“We’ll stick to three years. It’s closest to the truth so it’ll be easier to remember.” Kaz’s suggestion was met with a grin from Nina and Inej imagined cutting both of their throats.

“Excellent thinking, Brekker. So, how long have you been together?”

“Three years.”

“Three years.”

“And how long have you been engaged?”

“A month.”

“Inej?”

“A month.”

“Brilliant!” Nina cried, clapping her hands together. “And now from the top.”

Kaz sighed. “Can we take a break?”

“Not if you don’t want to get caught! Now, how did you two meet?”

Inej answered monotonously for the rest of the session. They both knew the answers by now, and she’d hope so considering that they’d been going over the story every day since they came up with it. Most of it was the truth, or at least an adaptation of it. They had been working with each other for three years, so they’d been together for three years. Everything was derived from something in their lives, including how they fell in love. Jesper had come up with it, and Inej had just managed to restrain herself from skinning him. ‘You fell in love working together! Obviously!’ He’d declared, happening upon Kaz and Inej last Wednesday when they were first inventing the story. Kaz’s glare had been enough to shut any coward up, but Jesper was immune to them by now. He’d continued: ‘Every job you got closer and closer until, eventually, the sexual tension was too much and you sealed the -’. He’d only stopped when Kaz had rapped his cane on the floor twice, a warning.

Now Jesper wouldn’t shut up about it. Whenever he caught her without Kaz, he would ask her how the engagement was going, if they were waiting to consummate the marriage. Wylan wasn’t helping either. His favourite question was about Inej’s wedding dress.

She’d be relieved when, in two weeks, the job was over and she’d never have to talk about engagements or falling in love with Kaz again.

 

_Two Weeks Later_

_Saturday, 20:30_

_The Palace_

“Looking dapper, as always, Brekker,” Jesper said in Kaz’s ear as he and Inej joined the queue having their invites checked outside the palace. He was already regretting agreeing to having communications. It had been Wylan’s idea and, in truth, it was going to help. They wouldn’t have to rely on signals to know when to act, or be worried if someone didn’t show up to the rendezvous. Still, he’d rather not have everyone’s voices in his head when he was trying to focus. It was hard enough with Inej holding his hand. He’d had to buy a new pair of gloves, ones not adapted so he could easily pick locks, because he didn’t want to risk a single brush of her skin against his. His usual ones were tucked safely in his inside pocket, ready for when he faced the safe.

“And I just look like a mess?” Inej asked quietly, facing Kaz so that, to everyone else, it would just like they were chatting to each other.

“You look _radiant_ ,” Jesper said.

“Absolutely stunning,” Nina added.

“Positively a blushing bri-”

“If you’re quite finished,” Kaz interrupted, “should we get on with the job?” He refused to look at Inej. If she was blushing, it’s not like he would be able to tell anyway.

“Yessir,” Jesper said and Kaz could almost imagine his mock salute.

“In position Wylan?”

“Check.”

“Matthias?”

“Uhuh.”

“Jesper?”

“Guns at the ready-”

“Nina?”

“Yup. And I’ve got eyes on Rotty. He’s waiting by the exit route for you.”

“Good, then let’s get to work.” He and Inej moved forward with the line and he continued to stare straight ahead. He didn’t need to check she was ready, she was right next to him. Kaz was pretty sure he could feel her pulse flicking in her wrist. That couldn’t be possible though. _Rather that than no pulse at all_ , he reasoned. But it wasn’t the time to start down that path. This was going to be an easy job. All he had to do was pretend to be engaged to Inej to get through the hall, and then they were basically finished. All he had to do was keep away from the memory of piled corpses and rotting flesh and blank eyes and lapping water and the stench and the

Kaz tightened his jaw. Not today, not now. Inej’s pulse was there. Even if he was only imagining that he could feel it. Everyone around him was living breathing beating alive. This job was going to be easy, over before he could think about it, and then his name would be made. All he had to do was pretend to be in love with Inej.


End file.
